


my uncles are gay please help

by eonflute



Category: Pocket Monsters: Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire | Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Versions
Genre: F/F, HBD BERRY!!!, M/M, i hope this is Acceptable at least, this is...not my best work but i dont have time to post it tmrw sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6266416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eonflute/pseuds/eonflute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you've done everything wrong and think you could never get any worse, at least you didn't ask your uncles Wallace and Steven to show you what flirting should look like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my uncles are gay please help

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cloaked__schemer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloaked__schemer/gifts).



Lisia isn’t sure when it started.

Somehow, somewhere between the good-luck hugs and backstage gossip and giggling when Chaz’s back was turned, she’d started to feel something different when she and May brushed fingers, or bumped shoulders, or even looked each other dead in the eye with matching toothy grins. It was an electric shock against her skin, jumpstarting her circulation and sending blood flooding into her every vein.

Naturally, she consulted her uncle about it. Who better than an acclaimed Coordinator and Gym Leader to explain these things to her?

“Oh my. Lisia, you’re in love!”

Conceivably anyone, apparently.

“So, who is it? Who’s the lucky child that captured my favorite niece’s heart?” Wallace teased. His face was flushed and pulled tight in a smile too big and too happy for his face to contain, and so it bled into his enveloping hug and a hand that ruffled Lisia’s loose hair into a bird’s nest-shaped disaster.

“Wallace,” Steven murmured from the couch. “Give her a little break, won’t you? She was nowhere near as bad when you told her we were dating.”

“Yes, but to be fair, that was  _ three years ago, _ ” Wallace said, his voice weighed with the faintest hint of a whine. “And she’s my niece! It’s one thing when I announce it, it’s another when it’s the adorable little girl I’ve watched grow up!”

“Uncle Wallaaaace,” Lisia huffed as she squeezed out from his deathgrip of a hug. “I love you too, but this is serious! I think I’ve liked her since I got to know her, and--”

“Is it May?”

Lisia froze. “I didn’t ask  _ you _ , Uncle Steven!” Even as she said it, though, she felt her cheeks flare up, her ears going awkwardly warm, and she found herself unable to make eye contact with either of her uncles at that point.

“Sorry! But, well, you two  _ are _ best friends. It seemed like a pretty reasonable conclusion!” His apology was too smiley and teasing to be anywhere near sincere, and yet Lisia suddenly realized: this could be an investment, if she worked on it.

“Well, if you were  _ really _ sorry, wouldn’t you give me relationship advice? Like, say, the story of how you two started dating? Or maybe I could even sit in on one of your dates! You could just pretend I’m not there or something!”

Steven’s face was like a lightbulb, the way it switched to a sudden explosion of scarlet.

“Haha, oh, um, Lisia, I don’t think that that’s a very good idea,  _ Wallace please help me out here you are so horrible why aren’t you saying anythi-- _ ”

“It’s settled, then!” Wallace winked at Steven, and even though Lisia couldn’t tell what exactly they were communicating here, she  _ couldn’t _ go on without knowing now.

“Aw, thank you, Uncle Wallace!” she squealed, still perfectly capable of channeling her twelve-year-old rising star persona. “You won’t regret this, I promise!"

* * *

Lisia could not possibly regret this any more than she already did.

Four hours.  _ Four hours _ of listening to her uncles drone on about all the things they loved about each other. At first, she’d believed they were trying to give her ideas of what to say, but now?

“Steven, your passion for rocks of all sorts astounds me. I’ve always liked that about you: you’re so dedicated to what you love!”

“I could say the same for you, Wallace. The hours you’ve spent training with Juan to improve your skills as a Coordinator are so impressive.”

“Regional Champion, though! Even if you’ve lost that title since the--ah, the Groudon thing--it’s not an easy title to get a hold of.”

“One of  _ the _ most acclaimed Coordinators in Hoenn! I’m such a lucky man.”

“You have really nice eyes, have I ever mentioned that? I could just get lost in them for the rest of eternity.”

“You’re cuter than a Beldum. And you have really soft hands. I can just never hold the for long enough.”

“Rock collecting sure makes for some strong hands, though. You’re so handy at so many things.”

“Oh, but you have quite a handsome face on you, too! ( _ Wallace, she is FIFTEEN) _ ”

“We’re both lucky men, if you think about it, dear. I could kiss you all day long, and I--”

“ _ Okayyeahthanksthat’senoughI’mgoingtothebathroomBYE! _ ”

Lisia bolted from the table before either of them could get another word in. She knew they were only trying to embarrass each other, but seeing her uncles being all gross and mushy right next to her was a little much for her tender adolescent heart.

After she’d splashed water on her face enough times to cool off the bright red tinge, Lisia tiptoed back out, uncertain of just how long she would have to take to avoid the worst of the flirting--

\--and locked eyes with a familiar brunette, sitting frozen in the corner as two former ecoterrorists whispered at each other. Whatever they were saying, it had made May red in the face, her jaw clenched to keep from screaming.

Fighting her every instinct to flee the scene, Lisia gestured for May to join her just outside the bathroom door.

She almost wished she hadn’t; now, with May darting from her table over to Lisia, she could feel the fire of her  _ dumb stupid stupid dumb _ crush start to eat away at her consciousness.

“May!” she croaked. “Wow! I can’t believe you’re here, of all people. I thought for sure I’d be stuck with Uncle Wallace and Uncle Steven being gross for the rest of the night! I can’t tell you how relieved I am!”

“Same for me,” May breathed. “Dad and Papa were getting really heated. Like, over climate change at first, but then they started yelling flirtations at one another, and a waitress had to tell them to be quiet so now they’re whisper-shouting and oh Arceus it’s bad.”

Lisia giggled. “Never fear! It’s time for Lisia’s Disastrous Dinner Date Special, guest starring the cutest rising Coordinator in Hoenn!”

And then she flushed bright red for the umpteenth time that day.

As it happened, May was also blushing, so that was a good sign, right?

“Um. I can explain! My uncles took me out to dinner tonight to give me, um. Dating tips? It’s been a bit of a disaster, though. Haha. So it just rubbed off on me, I think!”

May blinked rapidly. “I’m in the same situation as you are, actually.”

_ Oh _ . May had a crush. For all Lisia knew, it was probably Brendan. After all, those two were just as close as May and Lisia, and she had every right to crush on a boy, and--

She felt something soft and terrifyingly warm on her cheek. For the briefest of moments, all she could see was an ear.

Oh, wait, that was May’s ear.

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

Lisia squeaked in surprise once it hit her.

Hands flailing, May stepped back. “I-I-I’m sorry! That was a little out of the blue but, well, I thought it was what you were supposed to do? Y’know, in a situation like this?”

Lisia covered her face. “ _ Arceus _ , May. I’m not a mind reader! You gotta tell me when you’re gonna  _ kiss _ me!”

May shuffled her feet nervously. “Sorry. But, um, anyways. I was thinking. If you didn’t mind, well, maybe it would be nice if we--just the two of us!--could get together and practice for the next Contest? Just by ourselves, somewhere private!”

“May. Is this a date?” Lisia gasped in faux-shock. Well, it was real shock, but playing it up always hid her embarrassment. Contest Spectacular tip #1!

“Only if you want it to be,” the shorter girl mumbled.

“ _ Awwwwww! _ May, of course I want it to be!”

* * *

 

“Teenage girls are so good at tiptoeing around an issue and just jumping straight in to the kiss. It’s unfair!”

Wallace slung an arm around his boyfriend, landing a soft peck against his cheek. “Steven, I know you’re embarrassed about using rock puns to flirt with me for three months straight, but I thought we were past that!”

Steven shoved his hand in Wallace’s face. “Arceus, Wallace,  _ stop _ .”

In fact, Wallace did just the opposite of stop: he leaned in and started peppering Steven’s cheeks with even grosser, played-up kisses.

* * *

“Unbelievable. Must youth today be so shameless in their public displays of affection?” Maxie scoffed.

Archie squinted at him, then down at where their fingers were interlaced and their shoulders pressed together.

"Maxie. Really.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was gonna be better but i have 0 time to write tomorrow? so i just kinda wordvomited
> 
> ANYWAYS HBD BERRY IM SORRY I COULDNT DO JUSTICE TO YOUR ORIGINSHIPPINGS BUT I HOPE THIS IS ENOUGH TO SHOW YOU THAT I LOVE U VERY MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE BEST FRIENDS EVER!!!!!!


End file.
